Chapter 27: Epilogue, Part Ten: Finis
The Epilogue is longer than the trip was
17.10.2023 - 17.10.2023 67 °F
"Sweet Home Alameda"
Tuesday, October 17, 2023
With apologies to Lynyrd Skynyrd:
Sweet home, Alameda
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet home, Alameda
Lord, I'm comin' home to you
At 10:35 this morning, another "unidentified caller" rang me up. All the phone screen said was Warrensburg, MO--660 624-2750. The voice, on the other hand, said, "Hi, this is Delivery Express and I am trying to deliver a bag to you."
"Great."
The young man from Delivery Express was silent. "Uh," I asked, "where are you?"
"I'm outside your building."
"OK. Well, if you go to the door, the doorman will be happy to receive the bag."
"OK. Bye." And he was gone. I have been reading that it is difficult to find good employees these days.
Ten minutes later, Jim the Alameda concierge called. "Your bag has arrived and is inside your unit."
"Thanks, Jim," I replied. "I have a question. Was it heavy or was it light?"
"Oh, it was heavy. And it appears to have had quite a travel history."
"What makes you say that?" I asked.
"Oh, it has a lot of tags on it."
From what I can tell (I'm in Florida and the bag is in Kansas City) the MCILLUA stands for Kansas City's Mid-Continent International Airport Lost Luggage United Airlines and it was most recently carrier by United Express.
At my request, neighbor James used his key to access our condo and sent me this "Proof of Life" photo. The bag almost looks like the dog that met you at the door when you returned home hoping that you won't notice that he urinated all over your floor.
What have I learned from this? Make sure to have an AirTag.
Without that AirTag, I suspect that bag would still be in India dodging cows and eating curry.
Make sure the battery for that AirTag will outlast the trip. Batteries, it appears, should be replaced annually. Take a picture of your bag with your phone so you can show it to the airline baggage office employee. Know the name of the bag's manufacturer and its size or model number. Use your phone to take a picture of the airline bag tag when the airline employee fixes it to your suitcase handle. Make sure that picture is clear enough to show the bag tag number and shows the destination airport code. Make an inventory of what is inside that bag--using an excel spreadsheet is a good way to do that. If your bag doesn't show up on the appropriate carousel along with all the others from your flight, get yourself to that airline's baggage office and fill out the paperwork, making sure to get a copy for yourself. If you do that 'paperwork' on line, take a screen shot of significant portions of the form with your phone and save them to a new album in your photos app. Just in case, be sure to get to your cruise embarkation city at least one day (two is better) prior to your sailing date so that your bag has at least a fighting chance of catching up with you before that reunion becomes impossible. And get right with your maker because if you ever did anything unethical or illegal in your life this is when karma will come calling for you.
Otherwise, you may join us, the spelunkers of travel dropping down into a hole absent of light where just getting a breath of fresh air seems, as a metaphor for your suitcase, somehow just out of reach. And don't pack your blood pressure medicine in the bag because you'll need it before the bag gets to you.
Oh, and hope beyond all hope that this all happens to you--as it did to us--on the way home and not on the way out. Oh my; how much worse this would have been had the bag gone to Bangalore en route to Queen Elizabeth rather than en route home.
If you followed along with us this far, B4 and I say thanks for being interested in our journey and its aftermath. You clicked 4,179 times on the previous 26 chapters. Wow. Given all that is going on in the world today, we hope this provided you with a diversion. For me, writing about this gave me a reason to leave wall-to-wall coverage of war, hostage taking, anti-semitism hate crimes, anti-islam hate crimes, various instances of gun violence both in the U.S. and abroad, political disfunction, indictments, impeachments, gag orders, repeated unsuccessful votes for 'Speaker' and more.
Epilogue to the epilogue: Only if, when we return to Kansas City from Vero, we find something is missing from the well-travelled bag will you hear any more about this adventure. Absent that, we're done.
Epilogue to the epilogue to the epilogue: Everything that is supposed to be there, is there. Amazing.
