Chapter 20: Traffic
Traffic Tickets in high style
20.09.2022 - 20.09.2022 108 °F
Chapter 20: Traffic
September 20, 2022
Paul has spent countless hours researching for this blog. He takes great pleasure in telling you all about Dubai and being accurate in that telling. I on the other hand, while very accurate, just tell you the stories of our trip behind the scenes. Do you recall when i mentioned the collision of the adventurer and the 5 star princess? Well now i get to tell you about it so read on.
“Trying to get out of Dubai Marina back to Sheik Zayed Road on a Saturday evening for example can mean moving only 150 feet in 20 minutes and traffic with backed up in all directions.” So wrote the author of one of the travel blogs I follow. Distances here can be great and cars are ubiquitous. Sheik Zayed Road is a twelve-lane limited access highway that runs parallel to the coastline connecting all of urban Dubai. One report I found says: "On 12 March 2008, approximately 200 vehicles smashed into each other before going up in flames. According to the Abu Dhabi Police, 3 people were killed and 277 injured, 15 of them critically. Thick fog and poor visibility contributed to the deadly pileup. The event is considered to be one of the worst traffic collisions in the UAE's history." Note that it says Abu Dhabi Police even though the road is in Dubai. I'm not certain of what the truth is on this point other than to say that this is one very crowded roadway.
Nothing even remotely reminiscent of that has happened while we are here. Yes, there is congestion but it is certainly no more than you might find in any major city during rush hour.
The Dubai Police force strictly enforces speed limits—and they do it in style.
These photographs are from the Dubai Police Twitter feed. The fleet apparently includes these supercars: Ferrari FF, Mercedes-Benz SLS-AMG, Bentley Continental GT, Porsche Panamera and Mercedes-Benz/Brabus G700. Being a Porsche Panamera driver myself, I don't consider that one to be quite as ostentatious as the Ferrari but I am impressed to be included in that roster.
If the police don’t get you, cameras may: tickets come in the mail. I have seen traffic monitoring camera devices housed in monolithic pillars such as this one in both Rwanda and Uganda. Of note is the fact that on our trip to the airport for our Maldives getaway, an SUV roared up from behind in the lane to our left and sped past us. Soon, I could see its brake lights ahead. One of these cameras occupied a spot in the median at that juncture. Once the SUV had passed the camera, it sped up again. That behavior repeated itself three times. Given that I was able to witness this behavior three times in a row is testimony to the fact that no matter how hard one tries to get ahead in traffic, the effort is often futile--even the tortoise in the slow lane arrives at the finish line in similar fashion to the hare in the perceived fast lane.
As an entrepreneur I ponder printing "I brake for cameras" bumper stickers.
Our driver, Masood, is captain of a gold Cadillac Escalade SUV about which he takes both great pride and great care. He gently eases it from one lane to another. He constantly checks his side mirrors, is extremely disciplined regarding accelerating or decelerating too abruptly. And, of course, the vehicle is always spotless. His patience with us has been earlier discussed and it is remarkable. Daily at an appointed time, he collects as at the TAJ to take us to the client HQ and later collects us at HQ to return us to the TAJ. That route, shown here, is a two-mile, only clockwise one-way, oval route. Getting from the hotel to the office is short and sweet. But getting from the office to the hotel, the trip outlined in this map, can take five minutes or fifteen minutes, depending upon traffic conditions.
I have walked the route in less time than it takes to drive it but that is often not advisable. The heat here is so intense that a less-than-ten-minute stroll like this would be can leave you wet from sweat.
Traffic is always punctuated with delivery scooters. They are like ants at a picnic.
Dubai is not a particularly walkable city unless you are staying within a particular section or neighborhood. Taking the metro system even takes time. It is clean, air conditioned and inexpensive and, of course, highly efficient. A standard adult three-zone ticket costs 8.50 dirhams--a bit over two U.S. dollars. The Metro runs limited hours however and you need to be careful about expectations. The Mall of the Emirates stays open later than the Mall of the Emirates Metro Station does. You could get stuck.
I'm betting that you all know Paul is the adventurer and I am the princess. But i always have a smile on my face and am ready for him to lead the way - he keeps life interesting. By no means am i subservient or not make my feelings known, i just know how to make it all work so we both end up as we want to. So our first Sunday in Dubai, Paul had multiple things he wanted to experience - riding the metro, taking the boat over to the old city, and seeing the 'Souks'. Lots to accomplish but Paul figured we could do it all in one day. I for one would have been delighted at the pool but off we went. It was a balmy 105 degrees with no shade or breeze but why not walk in that weather, right? Our hotel doorman directed us to the metro and gave us a map, tourists at their finest. The metro was really pretty easy, air conditioned, not a long walk, we bought day passes and off we went. Miraculously we got to our intended stop without issue and that was with changing lines, what good tourists we are. That is where the issues began. Now we all know that there are two things men can be depended upon to do - click the channels on a remote endlessly and NEVER ask directions. The love of my life can be depended upon for both.
We get off the train in the nice balmy weather that could give you heat stroke in under 5 minutes and try to figure out where to walk. We have 4 choices and we go the wrong way. After a bit i cautiously suggest we ask directions - no, men don't do that. We go along a bit further and I meekly suggest directions and this time - bingo, he bites, we ask directions. Too bad they didn't work and we still went the wrong way. Then of course we can't ask a human being but it's fine to ask Siri who might just be the dumbest almost person i know. We wind through the streets, i'm dying and say why don't we take a taxi - no Paul says he would feel defeated. Well i wouldn't want that, better to have heat stroke and pass out so we continue. We get to the water and he thinks we are on the wrong side of the river or whatever the water was. We haggle with the dock guy and get on a boat to who knows where. We love to cruise but this boat was missing its railing and my butler, the princess is less than happy but smiles all the way. We get to the other side, find the Souks we were looking for and i figure out this whole thing was a ruse by Paul to exhaust me so I wouldn't spend any money in the bazaars.
Well it worked, but what he didn't count on what that i learned how to take the metro to the the Mall of Dubai - the shopping Mecca of the world. In telling you this i have tripped into another chapter for which i was just chastised so if we repeat along the way forgive me. All in it was a fun day.
Their Uber is Careem. There is, of course, an app. Unlike Uber, Careem also rents bikes.
One reason traffic is high could be that gasoline is cheap. So, why not take the metro. A Metro "Gold" All Zones Day-Pass is $21.00. If you don't need the upscale Gold train car, riding the regular cars is half of that and both regular and Gold are clean as a pin. No Trash, No Graffiti, No Torn or Stained Seats, not even a scuff on the floor.
Thinking back, the only time I can recall seeing litter was when we were camel-back. Out in the desert, we saw discarded plastic water bottles in an uncomfortably high amount. If ever a spot should be pristine, that would be it. But, No. The City is cleaner than the desert. Take that, New York City.
Post It Note: When we returned to our hotel suite after our Maldives weekend we had a new scale - and yes it weighed in pounds! the service every where we have been is really extraordinary. So that's on irritant that Paul can cross off of his list. Sometimes the adventurer is a prince.
