Chapter 18: Post-it Notes About Nothing
Thanks to Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David.
18.09.2022 - 18.09.2022 84 °F
Chapter 18: Post-it Notes
September 18, 2022
Today is a day for doing nothing. A few videos and a couple of pictures will attest to that.
B4 and I are Seinfeld (the TV show) aficionados. She, in particular, laughs out loud and that makes my heart sing. During COVID, I introduced her to the 9-season television series; she had seen not even a single episode. After we finished all 180 half-hours, we began again. For the second trip through what Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David created, we became more analytical. We surmise that they had stacks and stacks of post-it notes upon which they wrote simple observations about life: barking dogs that keep you awake at night, conversations while waiting for a table at a restaurant that is always “just a couple minutes longer,” where we left the car at the mall parking lot, why our rent-a-car reservation resulted in them not having the car when we got there—and on and on and on.
Then, we speculate, they would pull a few of those post-it notes down from the wall where they had pasted them and work a selection of them into a script which became, truly, “a show about nothing,” that was, in the end, a show about everything. On this trip, we came up with a few post-it notes of our own which, by themselves, do not warrant an entire entry. But, when pulled down from the wall, they become a chapter—this chapter—which is a Chapter About Nothing but, once you’ve finished reading it, will become a Chapter about Everything. For our blog about nothing, here are the post-is notes pasted to our blog wall.
Post-it note Number One: The juxtaposition of three women coming down the mall escalator (as only B4 could describe them) “with their boobs hanging out” and the three women coming up the escalator in their abayas. That’s a culture clash that is not unusual here. We wonder what goes on in the minds of members of each group: “What is she thinking wearing that? That’s insane.” And, of course, both sides think they’re the sane ones.
Post-it note Number Two: Two kids around sixteen to eighteen years old, a boy and a girl, presumably boyfriend and girlfriend as they were from different countries, without prompting stopped us in the TAJ lobby. One ot them was from Lebanon and the other from Norway. “You two are so cute,” they told us. They asked us how old we were and said we reminded them of their grandparents. We weren’t even holding hands when we walked by them because we are concerned about what we thought were the ban on public displays of affection. We were cool and trendy though, dressed to the nines for dinner and probably smiling as we made our way to the elevator, er, lift. We chatted for only a minute or so and then they returned to their seats having taken the opportunity to commend us on our aged adventuresomeness. Who knows what it was about us that attracted them to us.
Post-it note Number Three: One associate in one of our training classes who said it was so exciting to hear older people still excited about doing something important—and doing it together.
Post-it note Number Four: Our driver/guide who took us to the desert asked us within one minute of entering his vehicle just how old we actually were. Once informed, he didn’t react with much emotion one way or the other but we suspect he figured a) we were too old for what he was taking us to do or b) wasn’t it great that somebody that old was going to do what he was taking us to do. That was our trip to the desert to ride camels.
Beryl's Comment #1 - We think we look pretty good but maybe we do look our ages. It reminds me of taking my son to college for the first time. I went to get my nails done on campus. When i came back i said to my son 'i had so much fun seeing all the kids on campus and the girls in the nail salon; i felt like i was going to college again'. His response 'Don't worry Mom, no one thought you were a college student'. I think my grandmother was right when she told me that you only get old on the outside, never on the inside. We believe age is only a number that doesn't have much meaning; it's your attitude about life and sense of adventure. We'll never be old, at least on the inside.
Post-it note Number Five: The service level here is high. At the concierge lounge, they started putting a “reserved” table tent on our preferred table by the window. After a single breakfast, they know what kind of coffee (weak by their definition) we prefer and what we want to order for breakfast. We have not found that to be the norm in the U.S. at any hotel, regardless of the number of stars it may boast.
Post-it note Number Six: Our driver, Masook, has become almost a friend—he takes such good care of us and gets us where we need to go. He checks with Maggie—our handler—to make sure he knows who, what, when, where and how. Our language skills with him are just so/so but we have overcome that. It's easy to overcome the language barrier, i have mastered it as Paul explains below We think that the respect we show for him is not what he is used to.
Post-it note Number Seven: There is a man at our client’s office whose sole job (apparently) is to bring people coffee or tea at meetings. He, too, has us figured out. All I have to do is nod at him during one of our typical 3:00pm meetings and he brings me a coffee. That is not something Paul should become accustomed to as it will not happen at home. Here in Dubai and in Maldive, i make the coffee every morning for the simple fact that the coffee pots are Nespresso's and how to use them completely escapes Paul. He has crushed many a pod and put himself in a crabby mood for it. At home we have a Miele built in coffee machine and Paul is the coffee barista. My making the morning coffee will come to an end on September 25 when we fly back to the US.
Post-it note Number Eight: B4 is not good with accents. When someone says something to her that she doesn’t understand, she tends to reply, “Yes.” I remind her that behavior resulted in Jerry having to wear a puffy shirt on TV during a favorite Seinfeld episode. If you don’t watch Seinfeld, that anecdote is meaningless to you. She often has no idea to what she is agreeing. So far, that has not backfired on her.
Post-it note Number Nine: B4 is convinced that she can explain what she wants to one of the many service providers we encounter by offering them a somewhat lengthy explanation. She uses multi-syllable words and multi-syllable phrases giving what I believe is way too much background information before getting to her point. Brevity of words is not her skill set. When you consider that every one of these people has English as a second language, or, has very little grasp of English at all, I am amused by her approach. After she finishes her paragraph, I have begun to try to translate her wishes with a five-word sentence of single syllable common words. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Post-it note Number Ten: At the TAJ, terrycloth bathrobes are provided neatly folded with the belt securely tied around it, making the whole thing into a perfectly square bundle. If you wear the robe and leave it on a chair, they will get you a new one and form it into that square again. The problem is that untying the robe is a project because it is trussed so rigorously. We tried hanging the worn robe on the bathroom hook. No good. They get you a new one. We tried hanging the worn robe on a hanger and hanging the hanger in the closet. That works. No new robe appears if you do that.
Post-it Note Number Eleven: Nespresso Machines confound Paul. That's an understatement!
Post-it Note Number Twelve: We like to tip. We saved the treats from our flight here and have added one of them each day to a U.S. $5 bill which we place on the corner of our un-made bed. On the first day, our housekeeping guy didn’t take it; we found him and explained that the money and the treat were our “thank you” and just for him. Both now disappear regularly. We also leave a thank you for the concierge lounge breakfast guy. It appears that we are the only people who tip him. I always bring a lot of $5 and other smaller bills for just this purpose when we travel. I didn’t bring enough bills on this trip.
Post-it Note Number Thirteen: On Paul’s birthday, he went to the rooftop restaurant at the TAJ to make a reservation and inquire about their corkage policy. We had been given a welcome gift of an expensive bottle of champagne which we had been saving for this night. “We will let you order champagne and serve it to you but you may not bring a bottle in,” he was told. Paul told them he would be happy to pay a corkage fee in any amount but that this particular bottle was special and we would like to enjoy it there. “No. We do not allow that.” Paul said, “O.K. We will dine elsewhere.” Paul went to the concierge to inquire where in the hotel or outside the hotel we could bring this special bottle of champagne to enjoy with our birthday celebratory dinner. “That is not allowed,” he was told. “O.K. We will figure out something else.” Paul then left the hotel, went to the Spinney’s grocery store nearby and bought a rotisserie chicken that we could share in our room. Apparently, the hotel figured this out and began to call the room, call B4’s mobile phone, call the room, call the room and call the room. “Oh, you are welcome to bring the bottle to dinner. We will make an exception.” Paul would not hear of it. We enjoyed the chicken and watched a movie on Netflix. Nothing like cutting off your nose to spit your face. In my opinion that is what Paul did. In hindsight it turned out to be the right thing to do as i was out getting a mani/pedi, yes even in Dubai that is a necessity, and did not get home until way later than i thought. So all was well that ended well. The hotel sent a very nice chocolate birthday cake which we ate for dessert. We have another nice bottle that we were gifted. I see another Spinney's chicken dinner in our future
Post-it Note Number Fourteen: Just as cable replaced broadcast television for us, streaming video has replaced cable. We own multiple ROKU “sticks” with one inserted into the HDMI port in every television set we own. We also have two extras. We bring them with us when we travel and plug them into every television set we encounter everywhere in the world. Direct TV’s stream doesn’t work outside the U.S. so we can’t get our fix of NBC or CNN. But, both Netflix and Amazon Prime work beautifully everywhere we’ve been from Mexico to Ecuador to Dubai to the Maldives. It beats the heck out of the local offerings which lean heavily toward soccer and talk shows in languages we don’t speak. The only place our ROKU stick didn't work was a hotel in Syracuse NY. The TV was so old that the stick couldn't be attached. We fixed that problem - we were at the hotel for a full week so we went to Costco and bought a TV for the week. We are quite certain we were their first, and likely only, guests to ever supply their own TV. We gave the TV to my son and daughter-in-law before we left town as we were visiting them.
Post-it Note Number Fifteen: The scale in the TAJ will weigh us but only deliver the results in kilograms. There is no “mode” button to make it tell us how much weight we’re gaining in pounds. The math—even by downloading an app onto our phones—is cumbersome. So, as a result, we both agree that we are gaining more weight than we had planned. The TAJ, when asked, was confounded that any guest would want a scale that would tell them their weight in pounds. That is one of many examples of how the TAJ—which excels in service to its core Indian audience—fails to grasp how little things impact their American guests. I would, if given the choice, opt for a different hotel brand should we return over silly little things just like that. Silly little things is correct. Our 'room' is a 1200 sq ft one bedroom 1.5 bath suite. I personally don't have much to complain about. Not sharing a bathroom all month has been great. My strategy on the scale thing was to weigh on the first morning we were there and track any weight fluctuation against that number. Not that hard. Since it is in kilograms and one kilogram is 2.05 pounds, i kind of enjoy seeing those two digit numbers. When we asked about a scale in pounds, the language thing got in the way. They sent someone to weigh our luggage as that is what they thought we wanted.
Post-it Note Number Sixteen: Maggie who the CEO's admin and our handler, invited us to her home for lunch. To go to someone's home was a fun experience. Maggie's husband is the Executive Chef for one of the Sheikhs. So needless to say lunch was quite tasty. I who love the royals was quite interested in what goes on with the Sheikhs. Of course he couldn't say much but we did learn that in the course of a day his kitchen may have to produce as many as 30 different courses. There are at least 7 courses to every meal, all small portions. I have a hard time getting a main course out at the same time as the sides, i can't even imagine 30 courses a day. We enjoyed lunch which was the four of us. Maggie's two sons exemplify what an international upbringing can create. They were articulate, poised and fun to talk with. They were 12 and 14 years old but carried the maturity of boys much older. I was impressed.
Beryl's Comment #2: By now you have realized we are Seinfeld junkies. Today we watched the Soup Nazi episode. i have mentioned about Paul's extraordinary hearing, and in an upcoming chapter you'll read about his refusal to ask directions - we all know that is a guy thing as is the use of the remote control. In the middle of the episode the TV freezes because Paul stopped it to be able to read the full Soup Nazi's menu on the wall of the shop in the show. OMG. Usually he stops a show midstream when he hears a noise and has to figure out what it was. Today was a first. We love each other's perfect imperfections to quote Jon Legend.
So that's our blog about nothing and about everything all at once. We depart Maldives bright and early tomorrow morning as two crispy critters from too much sun, though we sat in the shade. Go figure.
