3. Yala Limbo
Awaiting a critical on-arrival PCR test
08.09.2021 - 08.09.2021 84 °F
View Paul to Yala Land on paulej4's travel map.
Chapter Three, Monday, August 9, 2021
As usual, Emirates runs like clockwork. After a l o n g stay at the Emirates First Class Lounge at DBX, the flight was on time departing from a far away gate, C19. I was the only first class or business class passenger to Colombo on this 777-300ER, tail number A6EPM. This plane holds 8 in first class, 42 in business class and 304 more in economy class. I suspect that no more than 100 of the seats in the back were occupied but I cannot say that for certain.
The 2,051 mile flight took four hours to complete and I slept for thee of them, from around 3:00am local Dubai time until 7:25 local Colombo time.
Formalities—since I had heavily researched what paperwork and forms I would need to have printed out in hand—took only minutes and I was soon met by Mr. Kalika who will be my driver and guide for the remainder of my stay in Sri Lanka. Sadly, he greeted me by letting me know I was the first customer he has had in 18 months. There have been, for Mr. Kalika at least, no tourists in Sri Lanka for all that time. This poor man's livelihood was taken from him just as it was for millions and millions of others. I owe it to him to make this the best of journeys for him perhaps more than he owes that same duty to me.
The paperwork deserves mention. I needed to produce my passport, a negative COVID PCR test, a Sri Lankan government Health Declaration Form, an arrival card, proof of my COVID vaccination, proof of my hotel arrangements and proof of my return transportation reservation.
Our drive from CMB to my hotel, Jetwing Lagoon, took just over a half hour during which time Mr. Kalika and I began to get to know one another and become comfortable with what I hope will become informal banter.
Jetwing Lagoon is an upscale if third-world type hotel that would disappoint B4 if she had been along. To check in, I once again needed to produce passport/vaccination form/negative COVID test and had my temperature taken.
Ushered to Room 126, a “family suite” facing the lagoon from which the hotel takes its name, I am informed (again) that, due to “health & tourism guidelines,” I am “not permitted to move outside the hotel neither interact with the local community during [my] stay.” I am also informed, in writing, that “guest movements are limited to the guest room until the on arrival negative PCR result become available.”
My problem now is that the health team isn’t here so what is called my "on arrival" test is not taken "on arrival." I go to my room where I wait and wait and wait until, two hours later, they arrive at 126 and perform the PCR test that I so desperately need. Or, should I say, I need the negative results.
Mr. Kalika is to fetch me at 10:00 tomorrow morning for our four-hour drive to Yala Campsite where my leopard safari truly begins. Without the test result, there can be no pickup and, therefore, no safari.
As I said, the health team arrives two hours late at a time when every minute counts. They take both nasal and saliva swabs both tickling my brain and prompting my gag reflex in the process. The issue becomes more intent when I ask the testing team when I should expect to get my results. “Normally 24 hours,” the man says, “but under the current circumstances, it may be up to 36 hours.” My countenance fell. “Do you have an important meeting?” he asked. “I do.” I replied. If this test takes 36 hours, I will miss the first day of my reason for being here.
And, in the meantime, I am confined to room 126, destined to enjoy room service and the view of the lagoon from my balcony. A fisherman works his net 200 yards from shore. He may as well be not 200 yards but 200 miles away. A club sandwich serves as lunch/dinner. And we wait.
I am, of course, jet lagged. As I write this, I have just awakened from an involuntary nap. It is 9:25pm on Monday at Jetwing Lagoon (10:56am on Monday in Kansas City). I should have stayed awake for the past five hours but simply could not. Communications to both my tour company and, most importantly, Jetwing, have both received honest replies that they are doing their best to get my results back. I am confident that the result will be negative as I have had two tests within the last 72 hours and can prove them both but to no avail. The test taken here, now about ten hours ago, is the only one that matters.
In my ear, the 1965's Kink's hit, "Tired of Waiting for You" endlessly repeats. I silently sing it, over and over, as if the needle on the aging vinyl is skipping and skipping, to the inanimate test:
So Tired
Tired of waiting
Tired of waiting for you
So tired
Tired of waiting
Tired of waiting for you
I was a lonely soul
I had nobody
'Til I met you
But you keep-a me waiting
All of the time
What can I do?
At my age, after having sold a company which, through the labors of many talented and dedicated people, has delivered me to a place where I can do what I want, well, I cannot.
COVID test, with apologies to The Kinks:
It's my life
and I can do what I want
do what I like
But please don't keep-a me waiting
Please don't keep-a me waiting...
And we wait.
